Monday, August 14, 2017

Replacing Sliced Bread

My friend was visiting from back home and we were leaving my house for lunch. As I put my SUV in reverse the back-up camera appeared on the display screen, replacing the radio and temperature settings. I stared at the screen as I navigated my narrow and steep driveway, never looking over my shoulder as I was taught in the 80s on a school owned Ford Tempo, complete with passenger side breaks.
“Oh, your new car has a back-up camera too. I can’t live without mine.” Liz exclaimed.
“I know, right? I’m kind of ashamed how much I rely on it, but seriously – what a great invention.”
“Yeah, it’s like the greatest thing since…” She paused and squinted. I knew what she was thinking.
“Sliced bread?” I offered.
“That’s what I was initially going to say, because I always do, but that seems an outdated analogy now.”
“Especially when comparing to a microscopic camera that automatically kicks on and off simply by switching gears.”

Like most people, I grew up with “sliced bread” as the standard to compare all inventions. Though I’m too young to appreciate the novelty of purchasing bread that has been pre-sliced for the first time, my parents used the saying enough that I got the gist.
“These new microwave ovens are the greatest thing since sliced bread.” My mom exclaimed to her friends regarding the Amana monstrosity recently delivered to our countertop, circa 1982.
"Velcro! The greatest thing since sliced bread.” My dad. Yeah, he bought the wallets, shoes and pretty much anything that featured the “space-age technology.” The ripping sound irritates me to this day.

“Yeah, there must be a current standard. Something else we could never live without now and would fit the ‘greatest thing since,’ comparison.” Liz looked up and a perfect example caught her eye on my windshield. “Like EZ Pass. Easily one of the greatest inventions of our lifetime.”
“Agree,” I nodded. “I could never go back to not having one. That’s a good one. But, how about caller ID? I mean, would you even think about answering a phone now without knowing who’s calling?”
“No way. No name, no answer. Move that one to the top of the list.”
“Well, that leads us to cell phones. Smart phones to be exact.”

“Except, sometimes I want to throw mine out the window. EZ Pass and Caller ID have never frustrated me, or broken, cracked, become obsolete…”

“Good point. I think we all have love/hate relationships with our phones.”

I navigated a parallel parking spot and thought soon this will be a thing of the past too. Liz then pointed out I’m lucky my next car will most likely have that feature standard. I stuck my tongue out at her.
We entered the restaurant and ordered drinks and salads. The waitress used an ipad. When she left we both said,“Ipad.”
“Are we making a list?”
“Sure,” I said. “We haven’t found the gold standard yet and I think I feel a blog coming on.”
Liz rolled her eyes, but offered, “satellite radio.”
“How about medical advances? I got my sight back seventeen years ago and am grateful for Lasik everyday. But, I guess that’s not universal.”
“True, maybe that’s your personal sliced bread.”
“I think yours is the DVR since you work and travel so much.”
“Ooh, that’s true. It’s awesome to fast forward through the commercials too. Though I still watch funny ones on Youtube on my laptop when travelling.”
“Laptops. Computers in general.”
“True,” She said, but took a sip of her beer and added, “but really, where we would be without the internet now?”
“I guess that’s the absolute thing I couldn’t live without.”
“Me too,” she said. “That has to be at the top.”
Our salads arrived and we dug in.
“Mine is great.”
“Mine too, As great as…” I looked around, “Well, I guess it’s time to get rid of the sliced bread analogy since no one serves it anymore."
Liz laughed. “True. My salad is a as awesome as the internet. Though I’d kill for a slice of bread.”

How about you – what’s your sliced bread?

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