Sunday, November 1, 2015

A Sneak Peek from Reality Rewind…..

“Beth?” Scott asked tentatively when I answered the phone the morning after I sent him the email. It wasn’t our usual time to talk, but I was prepared, knowing he’d call as soon as he finished reading and absorbed the tell-all statement.

I pulled my robe tight against chill of the November air as I tried to sound as normal as possible. “I’m here. Are you at the office?”

“I haven’t been able to get myself to go in yet. I read it last night and it was too late out there to call you. I slept a little, but oh honey, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tell you how sorry I am you had to go through this. I actually hurt for you.”

I knew he did and part of me didn’t want to share the details with him for this reason, he loved me so deeply, relaying the events of the night would put him in pain too. I was careful with my words.

“I hope you understand now why I needed to share it this way. Writing is my coping mechanism.”

“I realize it’s easier than talking about it, and I don’t want to push you, but I wonder if I could ask a question.”

“Of course, anything.”

“This is what kept me up last night, Beth. How did you get home? Please tell me you didn’t fly back alone.”

“No, Alex flew out to meet me right away as both my brother and lawyer. He dealt with whatever I couldn’t and made the calls to Tom’s family. It was he who decided to wait until we returned home together to tell Emma. She’d been staying with Judy and Chuck. In fact, when we returned, I couldn’t even go back to the house and just stayed there with Emma and them. I don’t even know how long I stayed. When we finally returned, my niece Amanda stayed with us and Emma clung to both me and her cousin equally.”

“I’m just so sorry.”

“I know Scott, I do. Just remember you saved me from my grief which I let last way too long.” I poured a cup of coffee even though I knew it would do little to combat my exhaustion from the restless night.

“I feel like it’s wrong to say, ‘I love you’ when we’re talking about your late husband.”

“It’s not wrong. I’ve gotten past the inner-conflict. It was difficult, but you made moving on easier for me.”

He paused, I could imagine his smile as he said with sincerity in his voice, “I love you too."

 I sunk down into a kitchen chair, my previous nervous pacing now seemed unnecessary. “I love you too and I hope you’re ready for whatever reactions come of this when I share it on my blog. Some of my posts in the past have gone viral rather quickly, and those were just about the show, I can’t imagine how fast this will make its way around. I know not everyone will be kind, but I still think it’s better to have it out there rather than react if and when any questions or speculations do come up. I know your ex-wife’s article could contain just about anything, including my history.”

“You can’t scare me away.”

 I smiled into the phone and was ready to hang up contented we’d passed this hurdle, when I heard him take a deep breath, a sure sign he had more to say on the matter.

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