“Don’t tell anyone, but…”
I am currently the keeper of roughly one dozen
different versions of the end of the above sentence.
Maybe I have one of those trusting faces. Or possibly
I put people at ease and make them feel comfortable spilling their secrets to
me. I’d like to think it’s because I am known as trustworthy person and loyal
friend deserving of the privilege of secret keeper.
Some of the secrets have been and are currently minor,
personal confidences while there are always a few major life-altering whoppers.
Both types give me anxiety, but I take the secret-keeping very serious.
There was a time last year I held so many secrets from
different people I thought I would burst. I began to imagine a spreadsheet in
my head and even contemplated writing them all down to keep them straight. Don’t
worry, I didn’t. The urge to write is tough for me, but I know better than that
in this situation and resorted to simply keeping my mouth shut. Also tough.
Secret keeper is not a position I enjoy, yet can’t seem to shake.
The relief I felt when hearing the secrets were
finally ‘out’ or public knowledge was physical for me. I could feel my teeth
unclench at every mention of the information I held inside. You’d think I’d
learn not to accept any more confidentialities, but just two days ago I heard
those words again from another friend, “Can I tell you something?” I almost
said no, but of course I put my hand on her arm and said, “Sure, anything. You
can trust me.” And I meant it, but as soon as she spilled her confession, I
immediately regretted allowing her to confide in me. I don’t like knowing this
particular secret. Thankfully, this one has an expiration date and soon it will
be public knowledge. Until then, well I’ll be avoiding a certain group and
suddenly too busy for coffee on Thursday mornings through the end of April.
As with this big secret, most expire on their own.
Thankfully the information becomes public or moot. But now it’s got me
wondering – as a writer- what’s the shelf life of a secret? At what point is it
acceptable to assimilate into a story? Obviously – “All names, characters,
places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used
factiously. Any resemblance to acutal events, local, or persons living or dead,
is entirely coincidental.”
Maybe my friends should think twice before prefacing
me with, “Don’t tell anyone, but…”
You’ve been warned.
